Ambiguity

It's finally hit me that I'm a senior (in college, that is). And I've been having a lot of "senior moments", in which I walk around campus or, on the very rare occasion, hang out with college friends and get struck by raw, potent emotions (happiness, sadness, bittersweetness) as I realize that my university days will soon be over.

Life has taken me to unexpected places. And to some unexpected situations.

If I went back in time and told myself the story of my life thus far, I'd probably have very different reactions. I'm sure that I'd reply with something like, "COOL!" if I were talking to my kid-self. A year ago, though, I'd probably just look at myself awkwardly in disbelief.

Well, on that note, if there's anything I've learned, it's that you've got to believe in yourself.

After several, several years, I'm finally working for the Mouse as a Professional Intern at Walt Disney Parks and Resorts.

After several, several years, I'm no longer a performing musician in any sort of band whatsoever. (I think this is what hurts most about impending graduation.)

After another several years, I've finally acquired a beautiful DSLR -- a Canon Rebel XSi. (And once I finish thumbing through the manual, you can expect plenty of Flickr updates.)

And so many of my priorities, values, goals, and expectations have shifted drastically in the past few months alone. Perhaps even the past few days.

I don't know where my path is going, but I'm OK with that. I realize it's meaningless to try to control everything in life. It's impossible. And plus, it's not as fun. Let's live for the surprises. And through them, at that. Life is going to keep happening, whether we're at the wheel or in the backseat.

In the meantime, here's to spontaneous blog posts.

"Made Me Think"

Close to midnight last night, I was driving back to my apartment complex from a friend's place after watching the UF vs. LSU football game.

It just goes to show you how conscious you have to be on the road. I had just passed an intersection, and I was going speed limit down the right-most lane. I noticed a man standing on the median, observing the coming traffic. The closest car to me was several yards ahead.

Between the break of my car and the one in front of me, the man began jaywalking across the street. I was only several feet away from him as he began to run into my lane. I stepped on the gas hard, blowing past him just as he hit the spot where my car had been a split-second before, and averted the predicament that would have been his certain death.

I still don't know what he was thinking. I don't know if he was drunk, or if he was perhaps suicidal. But my heart has not pounded that hard before. My blood has never raced like that.

I can't imagine what it would've been like to be in the situation where someone's blood is on my hands, even out of their own stupidity. I'm grateful I don't have to deal with that. But just thinking about it...I mean, at that point, I just wanted to get back to my apartment and stay in my room for the rest of the night.

It certainly made me think.

Get it? Got it. Good.

I've finally managed some form of a grip on this semester.

All of my responsibilities are settling nicely. The workload is exactly the same as it was my first day of classes, but continuity has proven the best form of familiarity.

I had intended on continuing my trips to the gym, but time has proven very valuable this semester and I've had to adjust to alternate methods of stress relief. So, I am very happy to report that I've been pleasure-writing more this semester. I have found the time to devote some of my life back to this passion, and despite the stress and chaos of the season, I have been enjoying this semester. Writing has allowed me time to think and delve into my conflicts, challenges, and opportunities from different angles than I might be able to consider if I am alone with my thoughts (as opposed to having a pen or pencil between my fingers).

That being said, I must now return to my daily schedule. Before signing out, I wish to leave a recent photograph of which I'm rather proud.

And there's more where that came from. They'll all be viewable on my Flickr within a matter of a week.

Peace out!

And I return!

I am a junior. This is my third collegiate year.

I have a separate life on the Internet, and it has evolved vastly. I have left evidence of this on Xanga, Livejournal (which is making a comeback at this point in my life), Facebook, Photobucket, DeviantArt, Flickr, and Blogger. (Perhaps countless others, but these are the major milestones that I recall best.)

I am now an Advertising/Public Relations major and an English - Writing minor, and I am very happy with my decisions to proclaim these studies. However, my academic life is consuming much of my social life. I find myself preoccupied with assignments for all of my classes - more loads of work than I have ever witnessed. And I am determined to complete every last one of them on time and in a fashion so that I receive the best education from doing the assignments. Occassionally, I'll distract myself with some feature of the Internet, or with cooking pasta or making a sandwich, or with a quick hang-out session with a friend at Taco Bell or Burger King. But I have remained focused, and I am doing my best to be successful in my time management, and in pacing myself so that I don't get burnt out during the second week of classes.

To keep my sanity, I write extensive Livejournal entries, put thoughts down in a very cool notebook I bought at Super Target, IM friends while working (in a manner that allows me to be consistent with my studies), listen to music, and capture photographs whenever I find the opportunity.

I may be taking on too many activities and classes this semester. Only time will tell, unfortunately. The best thing to do is practice crisis management. I think it's effective so far.

This is mostly another entry to hold over this blog. With all the events coming up, I don't know when I'll have another chance to write. (Football games, homework, studying, and too many other activities cluttering my brain.) I know I offered my Photobucket account a few months ago, but I have been avoiding that web site due to the amount of worms trying to invade my personal computer from the ads on the site.

I have moved on to Flickr (as I briefly stated above). I have a free account because I can't afford much more at the moment. I am very pleased with the site, though. It's a nice storage for the best of the best of my photographs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/the_stein/

Feel free to leave comments, constructive criticism, or whatever you feel, if you choose to take a look. Anything would be appreciated.

And I must leave with that. Hope this entry finds everyone in good fortune.

Reach

I've really been getting into photography lately.



One of these days, I'm going to steal my brother and make him be my very first photoshoot subject so I can get in some more practice. (You know how 15-year-old boys are.)



I've been using a Canon PowerShot SD750. It's a remarkable camera, and the photographs come out lovely (and even more so after being edited, which is rapidly becoming another interest of mine). But it is still a point-and-shoot. It's awesome for every-day activities, but not ideal for professionalism. I've had my eyes on a Canon Rebel XTi. (I like Canons, FYI in case you didn't know. Haha.) The results of that DSLR are amazing, and once I sweep up enough money to get one for my own, I'll be elated beyond understanding.



Anyhow, I had plenty of photography experience/practice this past week. My family and I took a cruise around the Caribbean on Royal Caribbean's Liberty of the Seas. (What a ship.) I got some interesting shots, and edited my first photographs with the provided Canon software.

Photobucket has been trying to leak some trojans on my computer lately (through advertisements), and that's currently where I store all my photos online, so I've been seeking out some other photo-dump sites. I'm on Flickr, but I'm not willing to pay for an account. It's been quite a search, but I haven't given up hope, yet.

Perhaps I'll dump a few photos in here later for constructive criticism and (hopefully) enjoyment?

My Dream Dictionary

Content: Multiple nightmares about the apocolypse

Meaning: Playing too much Fallout 3

Sometimes.

Sometimes Destiny and Reality intersect in the most inappropriate of manners and at less appreciative times.

There are truly no neutral grounds whilst in a battle against oneself.

To each his own life. I leave this open for interpretation.