A Blue Cloud

I realize I fail to update this consistently.

It is strange. I am very much a writer. It is an innate part of my soul. Yet, I have not written much lately.

I used to keep a Livejournal and a Xanga in high school. It was a way for me to communicate with my friends. I updated regularly and daily. Reading back upon my entries is embarrassing for me. I was a hormonally-ridden teenager. But I do not regret my past. I would not trade mine for any other history. That is who I was, and that is what consists of who I am.

Now I use Facebook. Any entries, or "Notes", that I post on Facebook are usually pieces of personal literature - mostly fictitional.

My last post on this blog was a description of some of the classes I am taking this semester. I'd intended on updating the next day to give some perspective into my Principles of Advertising and Principles of Macroeconomics class, but I never did. I suppose I wasn't in the mood. Unfortunately, I am not in the mood now.

I think I was afraid of change. I was not in the mood for typing any more thoughts on this blog those months ago, and I think it's because I was trying to force myself to stay the same person I was, and had almost always been. But now I am learning to embrace the changes I am currently going through. I am maturing, both physically and mentally. Emotionally, as well. I am growing into an adult, and I am learning individualism, responsibility, and to manage my self-discovery. Things were a little scary as I recognized these changes - realizing that I was not as innocent as I had been as a child or even teenager, losing interest in some of my previous hobbies and developing new interests in things with which I had never dealt. But this is growing up, and although I may be tempted to flee, I cannot escape from myself. I must learn to live with who I am, and I must learn to love who I am.

So that's what's going on now. That's what has been happening for the past few months. I have gone through many changes. Perhaps I'll share them here one of these days.

What brings me here today is actually simple: a friend whom I have not spoken to for quite some time suddenly sent me a line online. (Actually, I got in touch with three very old friends today. A piece of my past reconnecting with the present.) He sent me his blog, and I read through it and recognized at once that his writing was very different than it was in high school. His blog entries were short, but profound. I had never seen that side of him - his mentality. He usually concealed himself with humor and silliness. But he has grown up, and it was interesting getting to know him all over again.

I was inspired to type here. So hello, again. I do hope to be here again soon.

A smile.

A farewell.

A promise.