While sitting in my Macroeconomics class, I wrote down some thoughts that had surfaced as I listened to the lecture. I read through them once, and I do not know how much sense they make, but I do know this is how I was feeling and the best way I was able to express it. I am too physically and mentally exhausted to edit my rants and raves, but I feel compelled to make them official. Here you are:
I suppose I've always taken interest in the gray areas - in the subjects that challenge my mind with no sure answers - psychology, public relations, advertising (all intricately related). I've always struggled through math. I prefer a challenge in creativity, in understanding. Understanding people, behavior. Analyzing.
It's still business. It guarantees money so long as I believe in myself.
But my ultimate goal is to be happy with my life, regardless of whether that brings money, fame...With happiness, I think life will guide itself. I want to spread that happiness and anything positive to as many others as I can. I want to fulfill myself through education, knowledge (both informational and spiritual).
If I strive for wealth, fame...well, great. Yeah, I'd love that stuff, but if that's all I'm aiming for, I'll probably get lost in those goals...and there goes life. It's too short. Sometimes I wonder what the point of life really is, but when I'm happy to be alive, what does that question matter?
I will have to make my own mistakes, and some of them will suck, but that's life. I just want to live and understand life, grant more life to the world, share my life with others, live with the man I love, be his life, and, one day, finally give my life to history, reminisce, memories. I just want to live so that when I die, I know it was all worth it. Isn't that humanity?
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